It all came into focus at the top of South Mountain. A recent trip to Arizona with my wife, Jennifer, and children Jacob and Jordan was fantastic for spending precious time together, and also came with its share of meaningful moments. As we stood at Dobbins Lookout, gazing over the Salt River Valley – the Phoenix metro and the many miles of desert extending outward – I thought about all of decisions and opportunities that life affords us.

The drive up the mountain had been slow at times as we snaked back and forth, gaining altitude little by little. With careful navigation, we arrived at our lookout point, and I thought about how we often encounter winding roads in life. These roads will throw different turns and obstacles our direction, and sometimes it might feel like you aren’t making much progress. But the hope is that if we approach each obstacle with thoughtfulness and persistence, we can take one small step after another, eventually leading us to where we want to go. Once we’re there, we can look back on the journey and see how our perspective has changed from the beginning.

At the summit, I watched as Jacob took it all in. Here he was, looking out on the valley, the distant roads and highways all leading to different destinations. He appeared both humbled and inspired by the vastness before him. I put myself in his shoes: a high school senior on the verge of graduation and charting his own course into the vastness of life’s possibilities. It was a special moment as a parent, thinking of our family’s journey to help each of our kids reach the summit of beginning adulthood. It all reminded me of a recurring question I’ve asked Jacob over the years: “Buddy, you’ve got a lot of right decisions to make – which one will it be?” To me, every decision can be a “right” decision if you let it be. It depends on how you approach it, I tell him. A certain decision might not provide the shortest path to our goal, and it might even force us to take a step back. There will always be things that, with the benefit of hindsight, we will wish we had done differently. But who’s to say we can’t learn from one decision, re-think, adjust, and use our new knowledge to make the next one? In the end, that learning experience may have been one you needed before being able to move forward.

I’ve also shared with him that you can better position yourself to make right decisions by doing a few simple things. Being kind to others is easy to do and so important because we all need our network of friends and colleagues to help us along the way. Another tactic is to listen more than you speak: always be willing to admit that you don’t have all the answers and are willing to learn more. Seek advice, seek criticism, and know that there is always someone who has been there before who can offer a new perspective. Finally, try to do the ordinary things in life just a little bit better. It’s a concept I learned from author Jon Gordon and his book Training Camp (and one I discussed in my letter to the community in our district’s most-recent Link newsletter). The book talks about this idea as a quality of a good leader, but it can extend to all aspects of our lives. As you go off and meet new people, don’t just learn someone’s name – learn where they’re from and what makes them unique. Show up to help without being asked, but stay an extra 10 minutes when you do it. Take your daily routines and find a way to improve upon them; maybe for your own benefit, maybe for the benefit of someone else. Of all the decisions you’ll make in life, these small ones are among the easiest. I’ve shared with all of my kids that once you make a decision, you are in control. You won’t have all of the answers right away, and you won’t be able to avoid every challenge along the way, but how you approach these things is still yours to decide. That is an advantageous position to be in.

We took in the stunning view together. The city sprawled below us in clear focus, the mountains to the north a distant haze. The panorama offers an opportunity to reflect, and in this moment, I am thankful for the decisions that led us here.

It’s interesting, isn’t it? Time seems to go by so fast, and we look back and wonder where it all went. Pre-COVID, my son Jacob was 5 feet, 6 inches tall, and two-and-a-half years later, he stands about 6 feet, 2 inches (by the way, I stand all of 5 feet, 9 inches, so don’t ask me where he gets his height from). The point is, that not only has his physical appearance changed, but he has changed in so many other ways that might not be as obvious. Jacob will continue to change, and I am sad that time with him at home is running out.

Jacob will be our last child to graduate from high school and has just begun his senior year. As many of you know, I am blessed with four children: Jamison, Jordan, Jill, and Jacob. Just like fine wine, Jennifer and I have gotten better with time in parenting. As I reflect on being just 24 years old and bringing Jamison into the world, I remember thinking, “I don't know what I am doing. Thank goodness for my wife, Jennifer!” Things have come full circle as our oldest, Jamison, just had her first child with her husband, Jared.

Our house still has a bit of the hustle and bustle to it. Now that we have a granddaughter, Josie (another “J” name!), I am not sure we will see a significant slow-down. Still, as Jacob enters his final year, I feel a bit nostalgic and sentimental, remembering the days that were both good and a bit frustrating at times. Regardless, these memories put a smile on my face.  

It seems like yesterday when we lost Jamison in the house only to find her hiding in the cabinet playing with the Tupperware. Or the time when Jordan helped me with a home improvement project by sticking a nail in the electrical outlet (not my finest parenting moment) or simply putting soccer cleats on Jill for the first time. One of our most classic memories – one to which many of you can probably relate – was the day when we had a new refrigerator delivered, and one of our children, who will remain nameless, decided to put on roller blades in the house only to slide and put a big dent in the door of our new fridge. Anyway, I could go down memory lane forever, but what about this year? What about Jacob beginning his final year of high school? What life lessons have Jennifer and I already taught him, and what lessons does he still need to learn from us before he is college-bound and beyond? Is he ready, and what more could we do?

With Jacob’s senior year underway, I want to take every opportunity to converse with him, offer advice, and give him the confidence he needs to face the world head-on! As we begin this new school year, I thought I would write this blog as a dad, not as a superintendent. I want to include a letter to Jacob, hoping all parents in similar situations might take the time to let their children know just how much they love them. Perhaps it might encourage other parents to also write a letter to their children.

Many of these reminders are also for me as a dad. In a sense, I hope this blog/letter sets clarity and guidance for Jacob in a world with so much to offer, but one that needs people who focus on positivity, empathy, and love. 

Dear Jacob,

As you enter your senior year, I think it’s important you know just how proud I am of you. I have held a lot of jobs in my day, and as much as I would like to say that being your dad was the best job I ever had, the reality is that it was never a job at all – but it has been and always will be a privilege being your dad.  

You may or may not know this, but your grandfather, my dad, wrote me a similar letter many years ago. I still have it to this day. It meant the world to me, even though I thought I was too cool to thank him at the time. He told me how proud of me he was, and the fact he took the time to say it meant everything to me. Looking back on that letter now that he has passed away brings me so much joy. I know your grandfather was just as proud of you as well.  

You are too young to remember David Letterman’s Top Ten lists, but I am sure you will Youtube one. He was a talk show comedian with some hilarious lists. I put together a Top Ten list of advice and suggestions you can take with you as you begin your senior year. Take them for what they are worth; I see you do so many of these things already. Maybe that is why I am already so proud of you.  

Anyway, here it goes…      

1. 1. Treat people right! No matter who they are or how different they may be from you, treat everyone as a friend. I have learned so much from people over the years who don’t think exactly how I think or believe exactly what I believe. Listen with an open heart, and in the end, be kind and respectful, whether you agree with them or not. Respect doesn’t have to be a two-way street; perhaps the respect you show will earn the trust of others and do a bit to restore people’s belief in others.
   2. Be a good listener! Yes, it’s cliche, but it’s true: we have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Author Margaret Wheatley has a wonderful quote, “Listen to others with an intent to be changed.” Pause and allow this quote to sink in.
   3. Push yourself past the point of being comfortable! There are times in your life when you won’t be comfortable. Whether speaking in front of large groups, taking an AP class, applying for a college, reaching out to that student alone in the hallway to say hello and ask how their year is going, or keeping your feet moving when everyone else has decided to stand, step outside your comfort zone. Be true to yourself, your heart, and your beliefs, even if it means you are not doing the norm and are a little uncomfortable.
   4. Use social media to promote the positive and good in the world! How can you use social media to build others up and show the good in life? Even though I mention social media, I am still a bit old school, as you well know, so challenge yourself to do things without a phone in your hands. Go to school one day without your phone or leave it at home when you hang out with friends; this will provide quite a sense of freedom.
   5. Do something in the morning that shows a sense of accomplishment! Make your own lunch, make your bed (for goodness sake!), or simply take out the trash without being asked. The initiative and discipline will take you far in life.
   6. Make others smile! Use humor in your life, whether it’s a silly joke or a funny story. Remember one of Grandpa’s favorite jokes? “How can you tell a person is a happy motorcycle rider?” Answer: He has bugs in his teeth. I know, I know – pretty bad, right? But I bet you are smiling.
   7. Be spontaneous! Not everything has to be planned. Spontaneity is a good thing that can bring so much joy to your life and others. Be smart with your decisions. Every once in a while, sing out loud in the car with your friends when everyone else is quiet. Get donuts for your friends or go to a movie you think you will not like. Guess what – you just might like it.
   8. Cherish the time and company of loved ones! When you grow up and have a family, sit down and eat dinner together as much as possible. Put the phone away for 20 minutes and enjoy the conversation and your family’s company.
   9. Always listen to your parents! Remember, you're never too old to seek advice from your parents. This should have been number one (smile).
   10. Never be afraid to use the word love! Love is not a sign of weakness but the opposite; it is a sign of strength. Jacob, I love you.

It has been an incredible adventure for the first 17 years of your life, Jacob! You have your best years still in front of you! I cannot wait to see what your future holds.

Love,

Dad

So there it is – my letter to Jacob before his senior year. I hope it serves you well.

“When we deny the story, it defines us. 
When we own the story, we can write a brave new ending.” - Brené Brown

The story this holiday season is pretty clear—like most of the year 2020, it will be different in so many ways. We all experienced Halloween and Thanksgiving 2020-style, and we are now racing into the seasons of Hanukkah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa. In the Wipke household, we have done our best to embrace change with a smile. However, I must admit that not seeing my mother, sister, and in-laws over Thanksgiving was a real bummer, to put it mildly. I try to remind myself there will be many holidays and events to celebrate in the years ahead, but right now those reminders can sometimes feel very hollow.   

As noted in this quote above by Brené Brown, we should not deny our 2020 story; indeed, we should own it. It does absolutely no good to point fingers, find fault, or assume people are not doing their best. We have to not only acknowledge, but embrace, the fact that we are all in this pandemic year together and we share in the responsibility of determining what comes next. What we do today will strongly influence the future. Clearly, doing all we can to not spread the virus is key. However, we have emotional responsibilities as well, as our attitudes now will significantly impact our psyche in the years to come.

As I said, I struggle with the changes and differences just like everyone and am so done with COVID-19, as they say. In fact, probably like yours, my entire family is done. However, there is a glue keeping us intact, focused, disciplined, and in a healthy mindset; and that is my wife, Jennifer. Without hesitation, I can say she has taught me more during the pandemic about managing the issues we face and doing our part to reduce the spread while finding ways to remain true to our family and traditions in safe and healthy ways.

Jennifer has owned the issues from the start, and her resolve has been to be as creative as she can in writing (in advance) the ending of the pandemic story for the Wipke household. Building powerful family memories has always been important to Jennifer, and that is the case now more than ever. Throughout the last few months, when the weather was nice enough, Jennifer organized family meals with her parents and her siblings on the driveway, with masks and social distancing in place. She has found special surprise gifts and baked cookies for my mom and left them waiting for her at her retirement center. And these are just a few of the examples of how she has ensured our family has become even more connected than ever before.  

The latest example was over the Thanksgiving weekend. We were trying to find a creative way to spend time with my oldest daughter, Jamison, and her husband, Jared. Although Jamison and Jared are in our “bubble” and could come over to our house to enjoy an awesome dinner, we wanted to do something more. In a typical year, we would do things involving other people, whether it be shopping, visits with more extended family, or seeing friends from out-of-state. Those things were obviously not in the cards this year. 

Jennifer was undaunted and resolved to make it special anyway; and it was amazing. While she has many talents, she is not the most athletically inclined. Nevertheless, she decided that on the day after Thanksgiving we would all go out to Unger Park in Fenton to play Frisbee Golf. (What purists might refer to as Disc Golf.) Frisbee Golf is certainly not one of my wife’s passions, but being with family is. So, off we went to play a full 18 holes. She tried with all her might to toss that frisbee in ways I have personally never seen before. We jumped over puddles and tried to avoid the mud as, hole by hole, we laughed, smiled, and made safe, healthy, lasting memories our family will always treasure.  

In my life, the person who has best made lemonade out of lemons in 2020 has been Jennifer. Despite the fact that she had to stop working at her preschool to help our son, Jacob, while he was home doing online learning, I think she would tell you it has been good for their relationship. (This is certainly not to say that she is not ready for him to be in school full-time again!)   

Part of my purpose in writing this is to share my personal story with you. However, what I also realize is that there are other “Jennifers” out there. People who are making the best of this very challenging situation, who are finding creative ways to brighten the lives of others, and who are ensuring that when 2020 is looked back upon, loved ones have memories that make them smile. Perhaps you are a Jennifer. Perhaps you know one. I hope so. These people are going to be so important in writing the “brave new endings” to this madness we call 2020. 

The following message was shared with all district staff by Superintendent Dr. Jim Wipke at the 2020-21 back-to-school kickoff...                                                           

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Seventeen years ago, when my eldest daughter was roughly eight years old, I started coaching her soccer team. As I began to put the team together, I quickly realized I needed an assistant coach to help me. Little did I know that this assistant coach would become much more than an extra set of hands on the field. He would become one of my primary mentors and a significant influence in my life.  

Ron Boschert grew up on a farm in St. Peters, Mo. He was one of six children and credited his dad for giving him his greatest attribute — a positive attitude. This drew people to him like a magnet, and it was the same for me. Over the years, Ron and I got to know each other better, and we became more like co-coaches. He was consistently building the kids up and getting them ready to play mentally and physically, while I was focused on the X’s and O’s of the game. It was a great combination of our talents.

Back then, no one would have imagined that this team — coached by a teacher and a farmer — would go on to win six state championships, a regional title, and our highest achievement of all — third in the national tournament.

These “kids” are now 25 years old, and when Ron and I reflect on where they are now, there are a few key takeaways:

• Their capacity for doing quality, efficient work is unbelievable.
• Every one of them went on to successful soccer careers in college, receiving more than a million dollars total in scholarships, and some even went on to play professionally.
• They all seem to have acquired Ron’s positive attitude.

One of Ron’s and my traditions before each game was to go for a run and discuss the teams we were playing, the lineup, our formation approach, and other game strategies. Our run quickly became a habit we both enjoyed and also began a friendly competition. So, as the girls have grown older, we kept running. As we kept running, I continued to learn from Ron.

On our runs, I would often ask Ron questions ... about life, being a good father, being a good husband, and addressing tough work situations. Without fail, Ron gave me sound advice I could use at that time, as well as at future points in my life. Lately, I find myself using Ron’s guidance simply to survive in this strange world in which we currently live. 

At the risk of dating myself … Do you remember the TV show “Cheers”? If so, you will remember Norm, the character who was always greeted with NOOOORRRRRM!” as he walks into the bar. In one episode his response is: “It is a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I am wearing Milk-Bone underwear!” 

Lately, I sure can relate to that quote. 

Anyway, I digress, but you will soon see my point...  

One day I was going to meet Ron at the track for one of our runs, as I drove, I thought, “This time I am going to beat him to the punch. I’m going to ask him how he and his family are doing before he asks me.” I arrived a few minutes early and soon Ron pulled up in his Mazda manual stick shift. I practically jumped out of my car and said, “Hey Ron! How are you doing? How is the family?” He looked at me, making hand gestures like crazy, as he always does when he talks, and he said, “Well I have been better, but everything will be alright. Let’s go down to the track and I will tell you about it.”  

My heart sunk, and my mind raced. I kept thinking the worst…  Is his daughter, Lexi, okay? Is she sick? My mind was going to the worst possible scenarios. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. As we began to run, I said, “Come on Ron, what is it?” He started with, “Well, I went into work today ...” (For Ron, work is apparel inventory forecasting.) His boss had told him that the company was going through some setbacks and Ron needed to fire his entire team, something they called “downsizing.” 

Ron was granted a few days to get this done, and he used these days to set up interviews with other companies for his team members. By Friday, he had secured an interview for each team member and began calling them in one by one to tell them they no longer had a job. Ron was crushed, as he truly liked and admired each person on his team. 

That afternoon, Ron went into his boss’s office to tell him he had let his entire team go. His boss thanked him and then calmly said, “Ron, I have some bad news. Since you no longer have a team under you, we no longer need you either.” And with that, Ron was immediately relieved of his duties. 

As we circled the track, I was so angered by what he had just recounted and kept voicing how unfair all of this was. But Ron just kept replying, “It is all going to be okay, Jim. It is all going to be okay.” I finally stopped running to stare at him and asked, “Ron, how can you say that?” His response, “Well, I treat people right, I work hard and I care about what I do. I have already called over 100 people who are awesome contacts, and I know I am going to land on my feet.”

Two weeks later, I met Ron on that same track. He was grinning ear to ear, so I asked, “What is that look for Ron?” He said, “Well, in my old position, I used this software to help me forecast shoe inventory.” He explained that this software helped him so much that he would always call his sales rep at Logility Software and tell him how amazing his product is and how his company would be lost without it. Ron told me, “Once Logility found out I was out of a job, they called me and offered me a job on the spot.”  

Ron went on to say, “Here is the cool part … Lexi will be starting college soon and I got a severance package from my old company that will cover a major portion of her college expenses, and the offer from Logility is more than I was making before.” 

Clearly, he was absolutely right when he said, “Jim, everything is going to be alright.”  

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Being a Superintendent of a school district during a pandemic is interesting, to say the least. As we work to get our school year up and running, I can’t help but think of my mentor, Ron Boschert, and particularly about the time he lost his job. We have all struggled with new and unexpected situations in the past six months, and, as a Superintendent, I have certainly felt the weight of the many important decisions that had to be made. With no roadmap to reference, I have leaned on my mentors, my colleagues and my own experiences more than ever before to guide me both personally and professionally.

We all have stories to share about how COVID-19 has impacted our personal lives, and I am no exception.

My wife, Jennifer, worked at a preschool that had to close its doors. My son, Jacob will have to navigate 100% virtual learning with dyslexia. My daughter, Jill, has lost her fall season of soccer at Lindenwood University and my daughter, Jordan, has put off going to nursing school for a semester. Finally, my eldest daughter, Jamison, is a first-grade teacher in another St. Louis County school district trying to figure out 100% virtual instruction for first-graders. To top it all off, I have not had an opportunity to speak to my mom, other than over the phone or through a window, in the last six months.  

But here is where the Ron Boschert influence comes in. It is all about a positive attitude, and it will be okay. Looking at this through another lens …

• My mom is healthy and has not been affected by COVID-19 like so many others.
• My eldest is going to become a better teacher and will use her situation to improve her skills.
• My middle daughter has more time to save money for nursing school.
• My son will thrive because he has two parents who love him and will help him at every turn. And my wife, Jennifer, will have more time to spend with him. If my son can learn Language Arts virtually, he will be able to do anything.  

On the professional side of things…

• Time and time again, our district has carefully planned and then thrown those plans away and started over. 
• We have staff members desperately wanting to come back to the classroom in person, staff thinking our only option is to go 100% virtual, and those who firmly believe a hybrid solution is best. This is made more complicated by the fact that our staff understandably change which category they are in on a regular basis based on data and trends of COVID 19.
• We waited as long as possible to make decisions so we could use the most up-to-date information available, only to have the factors impacting the situation shift once again.
• My team and I have answered hundreds of phone calls and emails from staff and parents who are anxious and sometimes also angry about the situation in which we find ourselves.
• Lastly, we are all experiencing the emotional ride of living in a community with diverse points of view — not only about COVID-19 and reentry plans, but on many other important levels, as well.

Clearly, the “Ron” philosophy is challenged with this situation but I keep thinking to myself ... treat people right, love what I do, work hard and focus on the right things, the things I can control.  

Hmmm, focus on the right things … Okay … 

• I have also been showered with encouraging thank you notes from parents and teachers and was even called a “gladiator” by one of our parents. (This is a huge compliment since Gladiator is my favorite movie!) 
• The Ladue community is amazing because of its differences. 
  Our Ladue Educators’Association has continued to show tremendous, consistent and balanced leadership during this time. Our teachers are second to none! 
• Teachers have truly learned how much they love being with their students. Many have been profoundly reminded of why they entered this profession and now simply cannot wait to get back into their classrooms to see those smiling faces. 
• Our support staff have come to work all summer to assist in every way possible, putting our students’ interests ahead of all else.
• Our administrators are amazing, supportive and have not stopped working to find the best solutions for students since we all left for break last spring.
• While much of their work is behind the scenes, we should all be incredibly grateful for our Board of Education. They are, by far, the best Board with whom I have ever had the privilege to work.
• Finally, I get to work with each one of YOU! 

We will continue to meet these and other challenges through our See. Serve. Connect! philosophy.

See: We know the Coronavirus is not equitable and we have families who will need us beyond just education. The needs for social and emotional support are at an all time high right now.

Serve: We will rely on each other to work together to accomplish our goals and serve our students and community incredibly well. 

Connect: We will implement virtual learning while maintaining the relationships with our students and families.

The school year is quickly upon us and I could not be more excited.  As we begin, I plan to carry the Ron Boschert attitude with me in both my personal and professional life and encourage you to join me as we navigate through the 2020-21 school year together.

Be well. Thank you!

After spending the past six months as superintendent of the Ladue School District, a district of 4,200 students about 15 miles west of downtown St. Louis, I have decided to attempt to become a blogger. It never occurred to me before. However, I am finding this journey so interesting, inspiring and enlightening that I felt compelled to invite others to follow along!

For just over 26 years, I have been a public school educator and this is my second superintendency. During this time, I’ve learned and seen a lot, and I have some great stories — and maybe even some insights — to share. I have also learned quite a lot about leadership and have come to realize we are all leaders in some form or another. Whether it is in our employment, our family, or the organizations to which we belong.

So, through the topics I share here on From My View, I hope to provide some motivation, but also practical ideas that apply to leadership beyond the field of education. As you read, I hope you will find ideas that resonate with you and that you can make your own, ideas and concepts that broaden your lens and help you view situations and opportunities in new ways.

For example, when I first came to Ladue, it was important to me to find a way to tell our students, staff, parents and other stakeholders what I am about and what my vision is for this district. Something that would start to answer the questions: “What is this guy all about?”

This is where the theme of See. Serve. Connect. began. With these three words, I could begin to help our community understand what I wanted for our students and what principles were going to guide us going forward. Here’s the gist...

See. As a first step, we must truly see students and in doing so, not only respect, but value and honor them for the unique and wonderful individuals they are. 

Serve. We must serve our students, so they become their best selves under our guidance, with the self-confidence required to be contributing members and positive change agents of society.  

Connect. People only care about things to which they feel connected and our students are no different. A student who feels they matter and have something to offer to “the whole” has a much better chance of achieving their full potential. It is up to us to make and nurture those connections. 

This is where I started the journey of leading the Ladue School District and so far it seems to be working. So, what do you say we give this a try? 

My first blog will be posted in the next few days! I hope you’ll enjoy the read, share it with others and give me feedback along the way. Some of what I will share will be offshoots of concepts we are working on as a staff, some will be stories from my past that guide my current thinking, and some will be my thoughts on current happenings in our district and beyond.

Thanks for your interest! It is absolutely my privilege to lead this amazing district and to be able to see, serve and connect with all of you.